Not your mother’s insulin pump

I am too cool for selfies unless we’re talking about durable medical equipment and in that case I’m a full-on exhibitionist.

Dexcom CGM w/ overpatch, 2023. Photo by Josh Madson, who, to be fair, brings out the exhibitionist in us all.

Shameless.

Classic syringe-w/-orange because that’s how the nurses taught me back when you didn’t get discharged until you could give yourself a shot without freaking out.
Heavy early Omnipod which I did not love, 2012.
I went back to the syringe by 2013 mostly due to getting tired of trying to make the clunky Omnipod look cool.

Those are nothing compared to how I feel about my current technology. I love it so much, mere exhibitionism wasn’t enough. I made a self-portrait about it and put it in the Arts Center of Saint Peter’s 2025 Member Show.

The edge of the skirt was all Omnipods covered in tiny mirrors and gemstones. Honestly it was beautiful.
As proof of resemblance, here’s me near that same spot giving remarks at the opening reception. Photo courtesy Cheryl Casteen.

You can’t really tell here, but cardboard-me is painted in green with the full text of The Algorithm is my Shepherd: A Rewrite of Psalm 23 and a Love Letter to My New Insulin Pump. Also available in convenient zine form.

I made about 100 for gallery visitors to take, and they did, and sometimes I’d be working the desk and see somebody take a zine and tell them I’d written it, and they’d tell me about their diabetic friend or kid or whatever, and it felt so good, I got why people make art about the most personal things. That’s not usually what I do. I usually just show off how hilarious I am. This was different and lovely. If you’re interested in meeting up with a small group of people to bitch about managing chronic illness and then make some art about it, please be in touch because now I’m on a roll.

Steely Ann at Mankato Playhouse March 29

So outrageous. STEELY ANN is South Central Minnesota’s premiere Steely Dan tribute band, a title they’ll make every effort to defend the last weekend in March when Twin Cities-based STEELING DAN takes the stage at Chanhassen Dinner Theater, a mere 55 miles away, within 24 hours of STEELY ANN’s one-night-only show March 29 at Mankato Playhouse, 6:30 p.m. doors and cash bar, 7:00 p.m. show, $15 advance at mankatoplayhouse.com, $20 at the door. Read about STEELY ANN here. Buy tickets here. Listen to 28 glorious seconds of rehearsal below.

Don’t Take Me Alive, Steely Ann’s version, take one.

Here’s STEELY ANN on Facebook.

Here’s STEELING DAN on Facebook.

Is there gas in the car?

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | THE WORLD

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, the plateau where you pause for a second to savor the sense of having done a thing, before the next thing has you starting back over at zero. But that’s tomorrow. Today is game day.

It just seemed like something a Steely Dan protagonist would do. It’s MAC and the shade is Consensual. You cannot tell me that “The Shade Is Consensual” doesn’t sound like it’s off Two Against Nature.
Thank you for coming to my Major Arcana talk.

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | JUDGEMENT

Emotional roller coaster right now, honestly, having just learned about the existence of this jingle but it’s too late to include it in the set for tomorrow night. This is the essence of The Judgement card. It’s about when it’s tough but you have to make the call.

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | THE SUN

The Sun is the feeling of singing and dancing in a public powder room because no other rooms in the Earley Center for Performing Arts are unlocked at this hour, at least not any rooms with mirrors, so there you are, two grown-ass vocalists, but turns out there’s no better room because this one is clearly haunted by the singing and dancing ghosts of so many choir girls who have come before.

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | THE MOON

The Moon is about mystery, and so to clarify that “no mansplaining” rule on the poster, what we mean is that if your date or your table guests are new to the music and don’t have all the contexts and subtexts and intertextualities memorized, but you do, because you are connoisseur of the subreddits, what we’re saying is: Let the mystery be. Steely Ann will be performing a number of tunes from Aja on Saturday, and if you start explaining those, we could be there all night.

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | THE STAR

The Star is about that private shameless moment of “what if,” guaranteed to follow disaster by minutes or years or a combination of both. This is probably a good time to mention that Saturday night’s show will feature a merch table selling Steely Ann bassist Craig Matarrese’s book on Hegel; Joe’s Garage pianist David Viscoli’s classical piano albums; Steely Ann pianist Larry McDonough’s jazz piano albums; my Doilies of Intolerance; and much much more.

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | THE TOWER

The worst feeling you’ve ever had probably didn’t show up right in the moment when the bad thing happened. It probably showed up a couple days later when your ears stopped roaring and you did the dumb thing of taking a nap to clear your mind, only to wake up and feel the bad thing sink in like a line between “before” and “after.” The Tower card is about that feeling. Come on out April 13 for a whole night of music about moments slightly better than that one!

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | THE DEVIL

“Black Cow” made the cut in the course of many heartbreaking edits to get our set to under an hour, and I’m so glad about that, because I love singing it and I love it as an ode to the remedies we believe in until we don’t. So outrageous.

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot | Steely Dan + Frank Zappa Appreciation Edition | TEMPERANCE

Nobody likes getting the Temperance card, and let me tell you, I don’t like reading it for you either. You show up to have your cards read, you want confirmation or refutation of your worst fears. You want absolution or permission. Whatever you want, it’s not a reminder to behave and consume in moderation. But here we are. Maybe stop dwelling in that space of being halfway crucified and you’ll start getting better cards.

STEELY ANN & JOE’S GARAGE Saturday April 13
Doors 7 p.m., show 7:30 p.m.
Kato Ballroom ticket link: http://tinyurl.com/55tnwpzt